The Way I Feel

A wonderful book to help children name and express their emotions! Click the link below to hear this wonderful book read aloud

Learning to Manage Feelings

Children’s feelings and emotions can sometimes be intense. They can be quickly taken over by feelings of excitement, fear, frustration or joy. When feelings take over a child’s behaviour- it can be difficult for them to manage, without help from an adult. It is important for adults and caregivers to be able to recognize these emotions and feelings and label them! Understanding that having all emotions is acceptable, but teaching our children ways to cope with these feelings and emotions is crucial to their development.

How Parents Can help Children Manage Feelings

1. Notice Feelings

Before we can learn how to control feelings, we first have to notice them. You can help your child by noticing and paying attention to the ways they are feeling throughout the day and by giving them names- happy, angry, excited, frustrated.

     2. Talk About Everyday Feelings

Talking with your child about what it feels like when you are angry, sad, scared, nervous etc...will help them find ways to express their feelings without them having to act out through negative behaviours.

3. Create a Space for Talking About Difficult Feelings

Help children separate a feeling from a difficult reaction by helping them name it. Being able to say or think, “I am feeling angry”, means that children don’t have to act really angry before anyone notices. They can then choose how they will respond, perhaps by using one of the tools appropriate to get them out of that zone.

Things To Try At Home

• Use feeling words when you talk with your children about everyday situations: “You scored a goal! How exciting was that!” or “It must be pretty disappointing that you can’t play with Sarah today.”
• Invite children to describe their own feelings: “I’m feeling pretty nervous about going to the dentist. How about you?”

All Zones Are OKAY!

You just need to manage the one you're in!

Self-regulation is something everyone continually works on, whether we are aware of it or not. We all encounter difficult circumstances that test our limits from time to time. If we are able to recognize when we are becoming less regulated, we are able to do something about it to feel better and get ourselves into a better place (green zone). This comes easier for some of us, but for others, it is a skill that needs to be taught and practiced. This is the goal of the Zones of Regulation (or Zones for short) :)

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.- Charles Swindoll

Take A Breath- The Self-Reg Song by Raffi

Listen to the song hereSelf-Reg Song

Stuart Shanker's 5 Steps of Self-Reg

More information can be found at 5 Steps of Self-Reg

7 Tips to Help Your Child Manage Stress

Like adults, kids also suffer from stress. Too many commitments, conflict in their families and problems with peers are all stressors that overwhelm children. According to research, a certain amount of stress is actually good for children. The 'Positive Stress' stimulates growth and challenges students to achieve their best. But when a child becomes over stressed by certain stressors (i.e., too much noise, too much light, sitting still for too long, the fabric of their clothes) they become unable to calmly and rationally solve problems and regulate their emotions. Dr. Shanker refers to this as 'Stress Behaviour' as opposed to 'Misbehaviour'. It is our job as parents and educators to try and identify the stressful events that are triggering this 'fight or flight' response. It is then, when a child can identify what is a stressor for them, that they can practice calming techniques and strategies to get them back into the Green Zone, where learning can take place. 

Below are a list of 7 Tips to help children manage stress:

1. Stop overscheduling
2. Make time for play
3. Make sleep a priority
4. Teach kids to listen to their bodies
5. Manage your own stress
6. Make mornings calmer
7.  Prepare your kids to deal with mistakes

More information can be found at 7 Tips

Dr. Stuart Shanker on Stress

Dr. Stuart Shanker is a Distinguished Research Professor of Philosophy and Psychology at York University. He is also CEO of The MEHRIT Center. The MEHRIT Center is focused on understanding children's behaviour through a more scientific method and suggesting tools and strategies to ameliorate their emotions. 

“TMC is laying the foundation for a paradigm-revolution built around the science of self-regulation. Every aspect of how we look at children will be transformed, as we shift from trying to manage or suppress, to understanding and ameliorating their problems in behavior, mood and thinking. We envisage a future in which every sector that engages with children and youth, and their families, are joined together in this way of thinking.” – Dr. Stuart Shanker

Dr. Stuart Shanker formed The MEHRIT Centre (TMC) in 2012.

Visit The MEHRIT Centre's website to find out more about Self-Regulation!

Self-Reg Website